Deliberate Cruelty, Depression, and Forgiveness...

As a few of you know, I've been pretty down, lately.

 

I'm trying to get past it, but life has been nothing short of awful for the past two weeks. Right after getting over the flu, I got hit with the death of an old friend. The night before the funeral, my (now former, I guess) boyfriend and I got in a gigantic fight.

I won't go into detail, but it was as bad as you can imagine. We're currently not speaking. At the time, I was furious and dreaming up various revenge schemes. 

I really wanted to slam him for being an abusive, hypocritical, ungrateful, undeserving jerk (I'll stop now). He and I bicker a lot, but this time he went too far. 

I'm not cool with disrespectful behavior out of anyone. But purposefully playing off known insecurities is particularly low.

My favorite work of literature is Tennessee Williams' Streetcar Named Desire. Blanche Du Bois - here she is played by one of my the always incredible Vivien Leigh:

And, in the original stage production, by Jessica Tandy:

One of Blanche's finest quotes from the play:

"Some things are not forgivable. Deliberate cruelty is not forgivable. It is the one unforgivable thing in my opinion, and the one thing of which I have never, never been guilty." 

I've been living by that philosophy since I first read the play at fourteen years old. And, yes, what [anonymous person] did qualifies as deliberate cruelty. 

But, I can't stand strife and quarreling.

Ever since [unnamed former beau] stormed out, I haven't been able get out of bed. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'd rather prove his point ("you'll come crawling back to two days") and end the fight, myself. 


It's better than waiting weeks (or months) for an apology.

Obviously, I haven't felt very sexy, lately. I did, however, swallow my pride and and whip out the cam for some nudes. It sort of made me feel a little better...for five minutes.


After falling behind on my orders, and subjecting everyone to the world's most depressing rant, consider these images my own form of apology.

I just realized I may have posted the world's saddest nude photos.

I do, however, promise to be back to my normal self as soon as humanly possible...


I guarantee!

Stealing Thongs, Hiding Cats

I am SO bored of being cramped up in my bedroom!

When I first taking photos in panties, I swore I'd never appear in my bedroom. Overdone, I thought! I loved the appear of tearing off my clothes on the patio...

I was going to proffer an image here as example, but cannot. My hard drive full of photos is in the living room. 


Which lead me to conclude...


As stated many a time, I live in a sometimes lovely, usually messy live/work space/gallery/venue. A few of my roommates do not approve of my lurid endeavors.

Thankfully, these roommates moved out!


Or...were supposed to move out.


Yesterday.

Instead, they are still here. Prowling around. Cramping my style!


I intended on taking some over-due photos in their supposed to be abandoned rooms. In fact, just yesterday I took a romp through one of these assumed abandoned bedrooms and found a cute cotton thong!


I snatched it right up!


Apparently, it had not been abandoned and I received a stern lecture. The phrase, "who are you?" was included.


Um...the room was occupied my a male. Who, to the best of my knowledge, does not wear a thong. And typically leaves a trail of trash (and tears) in his wake. 


MOVING ON...

The worse of the soon-to-be-former roommates is also, sadly, owner of the best of the house cats. This little girl has appeared with me in such popular photos as:

You can't get a close look at her there...which is a good thing! Because I've been secretly hiding her in my laundry and hoping she's left behind! But my ex-roommates are stomping around the living room and little Viola is not in my room. She's sure to be taken! No thong. No cat.

That's a satin-y bikini in the photo from my personal collection ("personal collection" should be taken to mean, "I own the matching bra and thus, am keeping the panties!")

I do have another cat, however!

I was mildly annoyed at my paramour this morning (the man, not the cat). Admittedly, not for anything he'd actually done but for his behavior in a dream.


I'm (half) kidding.


As usual, I drank too much coffee and wondered what my "talking-to-cute-animals" voice sounds like on video:

Being stuck in my room, I inevitably ended up doing a little online window-shopping (I've oft found myself trying to think of a good portmanteau for surfing online stores without planning on buying anything - since it literally is "window-shopping"). And I came across this necklace in my friend Lisa's Etsy store, Archives Vintage.

For a second, I considered buying it - but remembered my collection of tiny animals and realized I could make it myself! 

 I was all excited to find a drill and get to work...but heard my roommates prowling...

And hid in my room. I don't want to be confronted with thong-gate 2011 a second time.

...which was extra lame because I was hungry! Luckily, I made a grilled cheese earlier. It was cold. I was bored.

Pretend the salt is snow and you have a lovely vignette.

Never...drinking...again!

I am bringing you these photos only in the interests of authenticity. 

I know I said I'd devote the entire day to panties. That, sadly, did not happen. And, once again, I'm sick. And it's at my own hand!

(Note how I cleverly adjusted the white balance on my camera to hide my puffy face?)


After I wrote yesterday's post, I was in bed, all set to go to sleep, when my roommate came to my door and asked if I wanted a beer.


Ugh.


Since I had such a good day yesterday, why not? 


BAD idea.


I don't drink often. Plus, I'm a total lightweight. Plus, I'd barely recovered from the flu that knocked me out all weekend. So, after a total of FOUR beers, I slept the entire day and woke with a massive hangover. 

I wasn't going to take ANY photos because I'm so nauseous but figured, in the interest of those with a "girls-with-stomach-ache" fetish, I'd offer up my attempts to make myself look sexy while the room is spinning and my head pounds.

You have to give me some credit for appearing on the internet with my hair messed up, revealing the scar on my forehead!


Not to mention...

I am very disappointed in these pale blue panties. When I bought them, I expected a really cute thong. Well, they're not a thong, they're a g-string. And in not made for girls who don't shave! I admit, they'd probably be sexy in the right context...

But they're so tiny! I wear a size 6 and can barely fit into a medium! And the front is entirely sheer! Which I don't mind; in fact, I was wearing sheer panties before I tried them on!

Regardless, I'm in a terrible mood. And sick. And my roommate is blasting electro-beats. And I have no idea what to do with these bizarro panties.

What a conundrum!